#she kept bringing up the points she disagreed with and saying 'this is wrong and also stupid' with no actual reason why

[roseworth]

most frustrating thing ever is seeing someone talk about an opinion you dont agree with but you're willing to hear them out so you listen to what they say and its just them ranting passionately with 0 good points and no actual rebuttal of what you think

[acourtofthought]

Am I wrong? Elain is not an introvert or quiet. However, then I see people saying the complete opposite.

What I understand about her character since ACOWAR, she has silenced herself in response to trauma. We've seen her through the last books opening herself little by little. But in her core she loves balls and being around people. In the first book, Elain is excited about a ball that his father would do for Feyre's return. Nesta reminds Feyre in ACOSF how Elain was before the cauldron. This tells me she is social.

ELAIN BEFORE THE CAULDRON:

She had come alive here, and her joy was infectious. There wasn't a servant or gardener who didn't smile at her, and even the brusque head cook found excuses to bring her plates of cookies, and tarts at various points int he day.

Elain, who flitted about the room, personally greeting each guest and dancing with all their important sons

Two in the morning and yet the part was showing no sings of slowing. My father held court with several other merchants and aristo men to whom I had been introduced but whose names I'd instantly forgotten. Elain was laughing among a circle of beautiful friends, flushed and brilliant. Nesta had silently left at midnight, and I didn't bother to say good-bye as I finally slipped upstairs.

"My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles"

ELAIN IN ACOWAR, AFTER THE CAULDRON:

"She had always been so full of light. Perhaps that was why she now kept all the curtains open. To fill the void that existed where all of that light had once been. And now nothing remained."

ELAIN IN ACOFAS, AFTER THE CAULDRON:

"Elain is overwhelmed by crowds."

"She didn't used to be that way." "She loved balls and parties." The words hung unspoken. But you and your dragged us into this world. Took that joy away from her."

Feyre then goes on to see that she's "readjusting." Which means that Elain was someone different before being made and coming to Prythian and she's starting to kind of make her way back to that place but it's clear she's not really there yet. She's often pushed to the background in the IC, she's not the center of attention, laughing and convincing others to do anything with a few smiles. She's often mentioned as sitting away from the others, by the sunniest of windows or off by herself while they're together having IC meetings. She's mentioned as looking like the life was sucked out of her while in the CON wearing NC Black while they others seamlessly embody the role of "leaders of the NC". Even Eris was noted as looking proud and tall while wearing their signature color. Eris, Az, Cassian, they were all mentioned as dancing with Nesta at the ball but not a single person was mentioned to offer a dance to Elain (and for those who say it the focus was to be on Nesta I disagree that Elain couldn't have also been mentioned in the background as a ball was held in Feyre's honor in ACOTAR, she was the FMC, but SJM still found a way to mention what both Nesta and Elain were doing). Elain eagerly agreed to go to the ball, she "gave a passable impression of appearing interested" when Feyre spoke of how she'd normally ask Eris for a dance but then offered up Nesta in her place yet not a single person bothered to invite her to share in a dance when Sarah made it a point to remind us balls were something she once loved.

So I agree with you! I definitely think the Elain that we're seeing now is not the Elain we'll be seeing in her book. I think she thrives on being social, enjoys balls and parties and we've seen her come alive doing exactly that but I don't think she's finding absolute fulfillment in the NC where she's not the one able to "flex those muscles". I think she loves Feyre and loves Nesta and I do think she's truly happy that they are the ones who are finally finding their joy and being appreciated for their worth but I don't think she's really found her joy again. At least not to the levels she once did when she was around the right people (because she was always a bit reserved / turned inward around her sisters). But at the moment her skill in her way with people is not being utilized and I personally don't see Sarah showing us another NC ball where Elain is suddenly the one holding court. I think we'll see Elain in Spring and / or Day and /or the continent as being the center of attention, the one mingling with others, putting them at ease, convincing them of whatever needs convincing and gathering information.

There's a lot of light imagery surrounding Elain, not only her inner light but also that she needs it and I think when she leaves the NC for her story we're finally going to see her shine again. Adding an Edit because of a comment by @zenkindoflove. Elain can still be quiet and reserved and outgoing / extroverted and there's evidence she's always been that way. ACOTAR shows us many scenes where she's more contemplative and reserved, where she absorbs the world around her without inserting herself into the middle of things. But we then do see her come alive in other situations, where she brings joy to others, where her joy is infectious to them. Where she flits about like a social butterfly, making sure others are tended to. She's not trying to be the center of attention because she adores the attention, she simply becomes someone worth paying attention to because she goes out of her way to care for others. I think there's always been a clear divide with Elain's character. The side of her Feyre witnessed, the one where she is surrounded by friends, flushed and happy, the one where she's making sure every guest is greeted, the one where cooks go out of her way to bring her special treats, the one where she can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles, that is Elain as she is outside of the structure of her family unit. Within the family dynamic of the sisters though, she is a bit more reserved and introspective. While neither is bad, I wouldn't say the way she is around her sisters is where she's been the most effective in her influence? I imagine Elain will always have that duality to her personality, where sometimes she comes off a bit quieter and more thoughtful and others she's the bell of the ball simply because she's being herself. I just don't think the NC is the place where the duality has an equal divide, it feels like the introverted side of her takes over everything else and I personally enjoy the thought of seeing more balance to her character.

[beneathsilverstars]

Author Commentary - Trying Something New chapter 1

Note: These commentaries each contain spoilers for the entire fic! I recommend reading the whole fic before you start these.

Odile wasn’t really annoyed at the eavesdropping, she just likes to make people uncomfortable. And then Siffrin’s reaction was so cuuuute… She’s been making an effort to be social here in Vaugarde anyway because otherwise what’s the point of being there, but she just HAD to keep talking to this cute little thing in particular. And then they had a super useful outside perspective on Vaugarde too?? Double W.

Ngl, the whole "trying something new" framing was totally unplanned, I was just bullshitting conversation topics and then as soon as I wrote the rando dancer saying Those Lines i was like oh. Siffrin is gonna internalize this so hard. Siffrins love internalizing random pieces of advice or offhand comments, it's their favorite hobby.

Here's my worldbuilding about Vaugardian vs Ka Buan gender etiquette. <3

Siffrin is very reluctant to outright disagree with Odile lest he offend her — and because he generally assumes that if his idea of the facts is different from someone else’s, he’s probably the one who’s wrong — but arguing is Odile’s love language, lmao. Nothing like a good academic debate to bring you a better understanding of both the other person and yourself, in addition to whatever you learn about the actual topic. Even if someone is totally wrong, you learn about what misinfo is being circulated and why people believe it! Also maybe she thinks arguing is hot. So what.

Odile tilts Siffrin’s hat back up because the only thing cuter than a shy person trying to hide is them trying unsuccessfully to hide. All the same moe but you get to actually see it.

Odile reacts (ever so slightly) negatively to Siffrin's guess that she's researching manners because he's pretty close to the mark. She did plenty of reading about Vaugardian culture and history and language before she left Ka Bue, she knows the facts, but manners is one of those things that's hard to truly understand if you haven't lived with it. Hell, she doesn't even always get Ka Buan manners, and she grew up with them! So Siffrin's guess is a reminder that it's probably definitely too late at this point for Odile to ever find Vaugardian social norms intuitive, no matter how much she researches. (She's not like upset at Siffrin though, lol, just a little sad for a moment.)

The moment I wrote the hand touch over dinner I was like wait. He's eating food that you touch with your hands, the gloves should be off. And then with horror I remembered the sasasap images of Siffrin holding food with their gloves fully on. Welp! It works out well for my fic, at least!

By the first time their hands brush and Siffrin flinches away, one of his primary character traits in Odile's mind is "easily flustered". She's been idly wondering whether he's self-conscious in general, still embarrassed about eavesdropping, and/or flustered by Odile's attention in particular. So when Siffrin startles at her touch... followed by looking at his hand, then Odile's hand/mouth... then blushes and hides... and doesn't move himself or his plate any farther away afterwards... that's a big ol tally in the "he's attracted to me" column. It fits neatly enough as a clue in her current mystery that it doesn't occur to her to consider entirely unrelated explanations!

At this point the true answer to her mystery is that being called out but then drawn into conversation threw them off balance, and being appreciated as a source of information kept them there. They're used to people making use of their survival skills, strength and agility, and willingness to work hard, not their knowledge?? They don't know things???

As soon as Siffrin mentions that he has to camp because he can't afford a room at the inn, Odile considers inviting him to hers. But it would be weird to do that after 10 minutes of conversation, and honestly she doesn't generally enjoy sharing living spaces, so for now it's just an option on the shelf. (Well, two options — inviting him as a friendly favor, and inviting him for a one night stand.) But now that the thought is in her mind, and she has evidence that he's attracted to her... this is where she really starts flirting.

Here's my worldbuilding about Vaugardian inn price vs quality, and how they compete with free lodging at Houses or random people's houses. Odile is a private person who likes her space and would obviously prefer a room to herself. Siffrin likes small chats with strangers fine, it's interesting and fun and a good source of information, but the longer the convo goes on, the more likely they'll ask him questions about himself that he doesn't know the answer to, or he'll say something wrong that he's gonna regret until he forgets it, or he won't say enough and it'll get weird. He doesn't wanna be stuck in someone's house for the rest of the night after making a social mistake! And he doesn't like relying on charity, he never feels like his attempts to be helpful in return are enough, he's just being awkward and annoying... and he likes to be safely self-sufficient. So although he has stayed in people's houses before, and Houses more often than that, he prefers inns or camping when possible.

Odile could've finished her own soup, but she's feeding them like they're a stray kitty cat. They're cute when they're happily devouring a little treat, okay... plus if they can't afford a room out of the rain maybe they can't always afford enough food either... :(

Odile declined the drinks in case she decided to go for option two and proposition Siffrin. If he got himself one or two drinks (and didn't turn out a total lightweight), she wouldn't consider him incapable of consent, but she's not gonna liquor up the obviously-younger-and-less-experienced person she's flirting with. u^u

She's obsessed with their hat she thinks it's so charming. Their little turtle shell... the ribbon on top of the present....... Touching it is weirdly intimate bc it's on their head, but it's ostensibly way less forward than like brushing a lock of hair behind someone's ear, but it has the same vibes, yknow?

Odile has been walking such a particular line flirting with him... Just enough to have an effect, but not so much to scare him off... Partially she's paying attention but partially she's getting lucky and partially they just mesh well as people. :3 Here's some of the reasons for her success:

The conversation topic is allaying a lot of their insecurities, through sheer luck of her whole goal right now being to learn about a topic that Siffrin actually knows quite a bit about. They're still skeptical that they're actually being helpful, but they don't feel totally stupid and full of holes — even when they run into a topic that they don't know, hey, Odile doesn't either.

Her subtle touches are juuust the right amount to keep him desperate for more without overwhelming him. Odile is mostly doing it for funsies tbh, like, what's the smallest thing I can do that'll still fluster him, god he's cute. But it's working! If she'd started out with touching (or conversation) that was more obviously flirty, he would've been viewing the whole conversation through the lens of "oh, she just wants to fuck me" or maybe "she made up a fantasy of me in her head that she has a crush on and it blinded her to how awful I am", and thus he would've reacted to everything totally differently. But she's being subtle enough and escalating slowly enough that by the time he realizes she's flirting, he's already hooked.

When she compliments/touches/flusters them, she moves on immediately, before they feel too awkward. They don't have time to pick it apart and find something to freak out or self-deprecate about, and they aren't left flailing trying to figure out how to respond (which has a high chance of them defaulting to Okay i'm done with this interaction now actually). Odile is doing this because it's fun catching them off guard, and if she dwells too long it'll stop working. And she is purposefully being nice because they're shy, too.

She's quite confident at this point that he wants her to fuck him so bad it makes him look stupid. He's so reactive to her touches and even just her proximity, and hanging off of her every word, and dies of happiness every time she listens to and appreciates his contributions to the conversation! No, sorry... He's just touch-starved, and genuine-affection-starved too... He might have a tiny bit of a crush but tbh probably not even that. The feeling was friendship, but he had never experienced it before............

The thing is. He's just so good at assuming people don't like him or think he's useless or annoying or have figured out that he's fundamentally subhuman. Use the wrong tone one time and he's like ohh fuck they hate me I need to leave right now to save them the hassle of kicking me out. So he never trusts people enough to accept their friendship and offer his </3. But! Odile, who we know is usually a prime candidate for saying something offhand that sends Siffrin spiraling, is being much more careful than normal because A. she's flirting B. with a stranger.

You're right, Siffrin. She is imagining your natural darkless hair so hard right now and she wants to see the roots SO bad. She is undressing you (taking your hat off) with her mind.

She puts her arm around their shoulders on the couch specifically because it's so cliché. As I said, she's playing "what's the smallest thing I can do that'll still fluster them." Same thing with the "I don't bite, unless you want me to" line. She's just having fun with it 😌

Siffrin's responding thoughts, "Unless he wanted her to? Which. Obviously he didn’t. Except, he was starting to think that maybe he could see the appeal, of being so so close, of being—" would be completed with something along the lines of "being touched so directly/intimately/deeply (non-sexual)" or "being connected," or like, "being something someone is hungry for," "being aggressively kept like a dog keeps her favorite toy, safe in her teeth so she's the only thing that can tear it apart, and she will tear it apart sooner or later," "being devoured". yknow? See, at this point he's too hooked to run at her more overt flirtations. :3

Yes Siffrin you actually have been physically close to people who genuinely wanted to be close to you (rather than because of convenience, violence, or politeness). But you either didn't realize/believe that and didn't want to impose, or they went a little too fast, and either way you extricated yourself asap. So this is the longest you've been this close to someone.

Just like I hadn't planned the Change-y themes, I hadn't planned the Universe-y themes. But it's not surprising, I do love how easily "the universe leads, we can only follow" lends itself to dom/sub vibes, lmao. And the contrast is interesting... the new philosophy that he only just learned about and is trying to apply vs the old philosophy that he doesn't even consciously remember but it's engrained so deeply that he keeps defaulting back to it. Honestly, it's probably affecting him more strongly than it would if he did remember it properly! He's over-applying it because he doesn't know the context it belongs to, just that it feels right.

Special interest activated! Odile is very charmed by their enthusiasm for plays, it's nice to see them being confident and excited vs the way they had to be coaxed past their insecure hesitance into talking so much about cultures.

Do NOT ask me about the plays Siffrin mentioned. That was way harder to make up than any of the cultural stuff :') ... The Many Lives of C. is basically about someone who gets reincarnated / completely reinvents themself, with each iteration of the play being one of their literal or figurative lives... Actually, now that I think about it, it's kind of like a time loop, huh. I should bring this play up in a post-canon fic at some point, heheh. But anyway. It explores a lot of what-ifs, and how much of a difference different changes can make, but also what things stay the same regardless. It doesn't always have even the same general plot/genre (especially when you look at its possibly centuries-long history), but there tends to be, like, trends, like one theater has a new idea and other people see and decide to explore their own takes on the theme. So summaries can turn out quite different, but they all exist in conversation with each other. Like fanfiction, lol, when people fanon and roleswap and crossover and AU to the point of what should be complete unrecognizability, and yet you can still just tell what context it's part of. Okay I guess I had a little bit to say about that play, but don't ask me about the other one.

I decided on 4/13 that Poteria "doing relationships pretty different from most other countries around here" is homestuck quadrants, sorry. (joking) (unless?) (no that's a joke) (unless???) (no) ...Wait actually I do have an idea. It would be cute if it was something where "life partner you form a family unit with" was considered a totally separate thing from "romantic and/or sexual partner"... So usually any couple from foreign media gets sorted into either life partners or fun partners and references to the other aspect get erased/changed.

And that brings us to the end of the chapter... Playing with Siffrin was fun, but that's enough of that; Odile's ready to either go to bed or switch games. <3

Commentary: Chapter 2

[purgaytorysupremacy]

update: he emailed being self-flagellating and then went on a rant about being conflict-adverse during class when we were talking about virtue theory as an example of a virtue he wishes he could cultivate and I had to just be like never-fucking-mind, man.

I know people say “just let people misunderstand you” and “be yourself! don’t care about what people think about you!” but have they actually sat in a room with people who can’t stand you and aren’t shy about it and how that makes you feel like an infinitesimally small dust mote on the wind???

[polysucks]

*grabs a chair and flings it next to you* let's talk about rhaenyra the absolutely perfect (っ* ॑˘ ॑*c)

Rhaenyra Targaryen: Flawless, Brilliant, Never Did Anything Wrong Ever, Not Even Once

A Completely Unbiased and Factually Infallible Analysis

Since the dawn of time (or at least the year 129 AC), there have been haters. And not just any haters—misogynistic, scheming, bootlicking, rat-faced haters who dared to disrespect the one true Queen, Rhaenyra Targaryen. These are the same people who, instead of acknowledging her divine right, clutched their pearls and gasped, “must have penis to rule!!!!” as if being male somehow makes you worthy of the Iron Throne (it doesn’t; see Aegon IV).

Rhaenyra Targaryen was a beacon of justice, a natural born queen, and an unproblematic girlboss. If at any point you find yourself disagreeing I diagnose you with Hightower bootlicker disease. Seek treatment immediately.

I. She Was the Firstborn and That’s the Only Qualification That Matters

You know who else was the firstborn and got to rule? Literally every king before Rhaenyra. But suddenly, when she was born, the men of Westeros were like, “holup.” You’re telling me that for hundreds of years, we had no problem letting incest babies with questionable literacy skills (cough Aegon II cough) sit the throne, but the moment we get a smart, competent woman in line, we suddenly care about rules?

Just say you’re sexist.

Viserys I named her his heir. He had twenty years to change his mind, but he didn’t, because he knew what we all know—Rhaenyra was That Girl. Meanwhile, the Hightowers spent those same twenty years whispering in Viserys’ ear like fuckin lobbyists, trying to push their useless nepo baby, Aegon II, onto the throne. And for what? So he could spend all his time being a drunken liability?

Justice for Rhaenyra.

II. Rhaenyra’s Sons Were Absolutely, Definitely 100% Velaryons (Don’t be fuckin rude)

A lot of people (incorrect people) like to bring up the fact that Rhaenyra’s sons didn’t look like Laenor Velaryon. To that, I say:

Who fuckin cares?

Jacaerys, Lucerys, and Joffrey were raised Velaryons, named Velaryons, and rode dragons like true Targaryens. That’s more than I can say for most of Westeros’ nobility, whose main accomplishments include inbreeding and dying of dysentery.

Also, let’s not pretend like Targaryens and Velaryons don’t already have wildly inconsistent genetics. One minute you’ve got platinum-haired dragonlords, the next you’ve got Daeron Targaryen looking like a Dornish prince. Also Jon Snow?? Taking after Lyanna? For fuckin real? Who’s to say genetics didn’t just do a little freestyle? It happens so fuckin often in the world. The real issue here isn’t Rhaenyra’s sons—it’s the fact that people kept bringing it up like gossipy washerwomen.

“Wahh, they don’t look like Laenor!” Okay, and? Did they ride dragons? Yes. Were they betterer and braver than Aegon II, who spent most of his reign crying and drinking? Also yes.

Case closed.

III. Alicent and Otto Hightower: [dismissive wanking gesture]

Imagine this: You’re Rhaenyra Targaryen. You’re raised your entire life as your father’s heir. You have a cool dragon, a supportive father, and the kingdom knows you’re next in line. Then one day, your bestie’s dad—aka Otto “I Would Sell My Minor Dyke Daughter for a Promotion” Hightower—decides he’s gonna play “Let’s Marry My Lesbian Girl Child to the King” and suddenly, you’re supposed to just accept that your half-brother gets to steal your throne?

Absolutely not.

Alicent and Otto gaslit an entire kingdom into believing that Viserys suddenly changed his mind about Rhaenyra, despite there being zero written proof of this ever happening. How convenient.

Rhaenyra was the rightful queen. She was cheated out of her throne by a man who was too busy drinking himself into oblivion to rule properly. The Green faction wasn’t about preserving stability—it was about stealing power under the flimsiest excuse imaginable. If you support Alicent and Aegon II, just say you lack critical thinking and move on.

IV. “Rhaenyra Was Paranoid” — Yeah, Because People Kept Trying to Kill Her

A lot of people (again, incorrect people) like to say Rhaenyra became too paranoid, too ruthless. To them, I ask: wouldn’t you fuckin be? She spent her entire life being undermined, slandered, and plotted against. Every time she showed the slightest bit of trust, someone betrayed her.

Gave Alicent the benefit of the doubt? Betrayed.

Made peace with Rhaenys and Corlys? Lucerys still got murdered.

Let Ser Arryk live? Dude literally came back to assassinate her.

At a certain point, paranoia isn’t paranoia anymore—it’s pattern recognition.

Besides, let’s not act like Daemon wasn’t out here doing 283800% more war crimes than Rhaenyra, and history still calls him cool and mysterious. If Rhaenyra did half the things Daemon did, they’d call her the Mad Queen. Double standards? In Westeros? Shocking.

V. The People of King’s Landing Betrayed Her, and They Should Feel Bad About It

Imagine being ruled by Rhaenyra Targaryen, First of Her Name, a true heir of the Conqueror, and thinking, “You know what would be better? A guy who marries his own sister, can’t even speak his mother tongue, and executes messengers for sport.”

King’s Landing turned on Rhaenyra fast, and for what? Because she raised taxes? Oh, I’m sorry, did the war that she didn’t start cost too much? Try blaming the Hightowers next time.

And then, after betraying her, they let Aegon II take over, and he immediately ran the kingdom into the ground. Good job, guys. Real smart. Hope the starvation and executions were worth it.

You’re Either With Her, or You’re Wrong

Rhaenyra Targaryen was a queen, a warrior, and history failed her. The Greens were cheating, lying, backstabbing frauds, and the fact that they won is nothing short of a crime.

If Rhaenyra had been a man, none of this would have happened. If Westeros had any sense, they’d have rallied behind her instead of betraying the best chance they had at competent leadership

LONG LIVE QUEEN RHAENYRA.

This post has been proudly brought to you by the Rhaenyra Did Nothing Wrong Foundation™

[sturnboos]

we can never be friends

FRATBOY!MATT x READER

WARNINGS : smut (oral F receiving), fingering, swearing.

based on the song why are you here by machine gun Kelly “I hate that I saw you again last night, you were with somebody and so was I. I met you in the bathroom at 12:05 and I fucked you again we can never be friends”

A/N: My first smut and not proof read. don’t like don’t read

your 'friend' August rolls his eyes. “Chris is the host again? I feel like we should find a new frat party spot.”

you frown. “What’s wrong with Chris?”

August raises an eyebrow. “his brother? Matt..”

“our breakup was months ago, and that’s not chris’s fault” you disagree pulling August along.

you walk through crowds of sweaty people and almost slip on a pile of beer that's been spilt on the floor by some drunk lunatic.

normally, you hate frat parties but Chris’s parties were an exception. you head towards the dance floor but before you could do anything august dismissed himself already wanting to grab a drink. So you danced alone but just as the bass drops you feel a person behind you. assuming august had returned you start dancing on the guy, grinding your hips down onto his as the music intensifies. You spin around and throw your arms around the neck of… your ex boyfriend Matthew Sturniolo?

you look up at him shocked. "Hey sweetheart…” he reached out to grab your arm “Let's get out of here" he says with lust filled eyes and pulls you along to the bathroom.

one of his hands trailing up your body while the other held your jaw. You leaned in to kiss Matt deeply, Matt broke the kiss to drag his lips across your jaw, down your neck, lower and lower on your body until he could flick his tongue over a nipple.

You moaned at the sudden feeling, your head falling back against the door with a thud while one of yours hands came to Matt’s hair. Matt smirked against your skin, continuing to flick and suck on your nipples until they were fully erect. Matt chuckled as your back arched, your breasts pressing into his face needily.

Deciding that was enough teasing, Matt sunk down on his knees and lifted your tight black dress above your hips, getting rid of your underwear in one swift move.

Matt smirked up at you then his mouth latched onto your clit, causing you to clamp your free hand over your mouth.

Matt’s name left your lips in a broken whimper, the sound prompting Matt to continue. your thighs were shaking with the effort of keeping yourself up as Matt moaned around your clit, sucking the sensitive nub into his mouth then flattening his tongue against it, moving his head from side to side for more friction. eating you out as if it was his last meal.

“I-I’m gonna-.” You warned, panting. “Matt. Fuck, i’m gonna cum,”

With that, Matt pushed a finger inside and you tossed your head back again with a moan, fisting a hand in Matt’s hair and tugging harshly. Matt didn’t care about the pressure on his scalp he was making you feel good and that’s all that mattered to him. Matt was extremely skilled with his tongue and you were letting him know just how good of a job he was doing, your moans filling the room as Matt twisted and rolled his tongue just the right way around your clit before sucking again, making you cry out. You were so close.

But right as she you were about to let go, someone began to bang on the door loudly. you immediately panicked, bringing your hand to your mouth to stifle your moans and instinctively glancing over to the door to double check it was locked. Matt on the other hand just kept eating you out without a break and pumped his fingers faster. Matt knew the door had been carefully locked beforehand, so he had no reason to stop.

You look down at Matt when the pace he set was urgent and desperate he knew his knees would be bruised and his jaw would feel sore by the time he was finished with you, but right now, all he could focus on was you. At this point you could no longer hold back your moans and that’s how matt knew he was only seconds away from breaking you.

"Cum for me.” He mumbled and just like that you cried out, squirting over his fingers multiple times as he stimulated your g-spot just perfectly and constantly. He then pulls his fingers out of your sensitive clit. you both sat on the bathroom tile breathing heavily, then when both your breathings were back to normal Matt asked “Are you okay?” rubbing your cheekbone sweetly after helping you with your dress and fixing your hair.

You nodded, smiling shyly. “Let me return the favor.”

“No, no.” Matt cupped your cheeks, stopping you before you could get on her knees. “Let’s get back to the party. And if you really want to return the favor, come home with me tonight. Okay?”

Needless to say you went home with Matt that night, without the slightest hint of hesitation. Matt looks you up and down smirking at you “knew you couldn’t resist me” 

“Of course Matt, after all, we can never be friends.” 

[dufferpuffer]

Tbh, I actually think Ginny is a bit…thuggish, for want of a better word. More than a bit prone to physical violence as humour in a way I think Snape would find repulsive on account of his background. Snape would like her more than Percy (because he’ll see himself in Percy’s thirst to prove himself leading to poor choices and naturally hate him for it). But I think it’s quite likely she would be fairly far down his personal ranking of Weasleys, certainly before that final year. Arthur and Molly I do think he likes.

Late answer I'm so sorry but I think about this so much

Because you have good points, and it's helped me clarify how I think about them so thankyou <3... but I'm still torn.

She IS sporty, thuggish, 'Boorish' even - raised with a bunch of rowdy boys and has a lot to prove... while I don't think she was a bully, she still called Luna 'Loony' at first, and that's a bad look - though she fought more FOR people than against them... ... But that's all a bit like Lily, isn't it?

Firey redhead girl with a lot to prove, talented and doesn't let anyone talk down to her, a bit of a rough, teasing edge to her kindness, effortlessly popular... but also, eventually, more kind to 'outcasts'.

I'm not saying anyone who looks or acts vaguely similar to Lily is going to get Severus acting weird. He's traumatized and childish but he's still a grown man, not a lovesick moron. But I've been thinking about this a lot... and I find it hard to believe it wouldn't be a negative for him, even if only subconsciously.

Ultimately Ginny is not Lily and he isn't thinking of them as similar. But a fiery young redhead girl brewing potions in his class, snickering quietly with a friend about someone else - I think it'd rub him the wrong way, even if the memories he has are positive. Repulsive, as you said. How couldn't he find being reminded of his own childhood in the middle of teaching uncomfortable...?

At first - Severus would have been really HARD on Ginny. Like he is subconsciously daring her, testing her. Takes points for small things, snaps at her to pay attention - treats her like he treats Harry. He probably doesn't even really notice. Finds it annoying 'the Weasley girl is always vying for attention, no doubt spoiled by her mother and overshadowed by her brothers...' He thinks he has her all worked out. But he doesn't. He is wrong.

Well, he isn't entirely wrong - but he is missing the key point that she ISN'T vying for attention at all. HE can't ignore HER. Like Harry.

I think he bullied her. Like he bullies Harry, though less (too busy hounding Harry) - but still can't help himself from making uncalled for quips, or getting annoyed at some innocent-enough activity and taking points for no reason. I doubt she notices too much. Ron and Harry primed her, she thinks its normal Snape behaviour... but he doesn't do that to other kids.

But as she gets older... especially that final year... there's more for him to admire in her than not. She's more of a leader, strong, crafty, sneaky, cunning - she's helped Longbottom pull himself together and she openly is friends with outcasts like Luna. As a far more distant hand, as Headmaster, having her be a ''foil''... I think he really came to respect her. Like her. Rely on her, even.

It's a shame - if he could have worked with her I have no doubt they'd be friends. He grew himself around Lily, and Ginny is a similar shape.

~~~

Overall, I think Severus kept a working-relationship distance from Molly and Arthur. But I struggle to see him really getting along with Molly. She gets intense about things he would disagree with, she is bossy, she is overly emotional - and not afraid to snap bitingly at people.

I think he avoids starting shit with her, it's not worth it, but it's hard not to let an eye roll and a '...And you think that would be beneficial?' when she says something he disagrees with. If she gets haughty and snappy at him, likely bringing up what her children have told her about his classes and his manner and not shying away from picking at his looks - he could snap back just as hard.

I don't think they were a problem in meetings. They don't WANT to bicker. But I think that resulted in not speaking unless it was basic "Two sugars, please - thankyou, Professor." and "Yes, your daughter is doing fine - though needs to focus more on her homework."

Arthur is a character fandom often glosses over. Molly's 'crimes' are put on his head and his eccentricities are blown out of proportion. He is very much Molly's 'keeper' and anchor, he is kind but not a pushover, he is responsible, he can be stiff-lipped when he needs to be and playful when he doesn't... While not friends, Severus would appreciate him. Think he was a good egg, doing good work to a high standard... even if, perhaps, he shouldn't be so reckless with his belongings.

[t-am-i-the-asshole]

Am I wrong for bringing up my aunt's ED in a shaming way in my brother's wedding party?

I (19F) am the youngest in my family and since I was a kid I always been very artsy, which really matched my carefree personality in general. But since always, my mother's older sister never hid that she was an ass. She's the stereotype of those relegious women that say everything is demonic or innapropriate (like the times she found absurd when me and my brother were watching harry potter as kids), and even tho my mother never had this same personality as my aunt, they still had a close bond specially due my aunt's anorexia (she's recovering, but sometimes she has some relapses from what I heard). Last week was my brother's wedding and after the ceremony, all the guests sat down in the tables in the room, and because we're a family, we all sit together. My brother and my sister-in-law had lots of guests to talk with so they didn't really had time to sit with us after they ate their pieces of cake, so in the table were just me and my family... and the aunt. Since the bride and groom were the cause of that event, of course they were the main topic and everyone started to talk about my siater-in-law and my brother. Like everyone, my aunt was saying good things about my older brother like how he deserved to be happy, how gentle he is, how good he is since he is a doctor, how he should be my biggest inspiration which is... usual. I'm so used to my aunt comparing me to my older brother (like the good ol' canon event every younger sibling has to deal with) I just nodded and praised my brother too. But then at some point my aunt decided to talk about something I did earlier this year: my tattoo. So, for context, I did a tattoo of mermaids early this year on my arm as my first tattoo. I mentioned tattoos before when I was a kid so it was no surprises to my parents when I got my first tattoo, and actually they really liked it. Never had the opportunity to see my aunt after the tattoo so the wedding was the first time, and since my dress didn't cover my arms, she must have spotted it without me noticing. She basically asked not anyone in particular on the table where was my brother at when I decided to to that to myself. It took me a second to guess what she was talking about, and then I said "minding his own business" with a nervous laugh while my dad asked what about it. My aunt started to rant (in polite words) about how I ruined my looks for a futility, that tattoos come off as something childish, etc. My other relatives were disagreeing while the air was still light. I was already getting getting bothered by those comments, and her attempts to continue speaking even when I was brushing her off was starting to get in my nerves. She then said like "well don't get me wrong, your tattoo is pretty, but what would God think about it? Piercings and tattoos ruin the temple of the holy spirit". So I said "and starving doesn't?" referencing her anorexia. The way the table went silent immediately made me guess everyone got the reference of what I was talking about too, and my aunt just kept looking at me with a expression that I couldn't identify but she was clearly not expecting it. One of the photographers come to out table to take pictures before she even could say something else, and after the pictures I got up to dance with my sister-in-law's little sister on the dance floor. After some time I heard from my family my aunt wasn't really in a good mood anymore, and that probably was because of what I said. My dad says he's on my side, after the wedding party someone told my brother what happened and he said that maybe after that our aunt will learn a lesson and stop picking on me. I heard from him my sister in law was shocked about what I said but that she doesn't really like my aunt, so she's probably on my side. My mom says she understands me and that I have reasons to get angry at my aunt, but she thinks I went too far on my words. She even had a discussion with my dad because he thinks my aunt deserved it for being so rude, that I was just defending myself. So now I want your opinion: Was I the asshole?

[whateverisbeautiful]

THIS IS LONG AND CONTROVERSIAL

I love that we’re on the topic of Judith because though I love your breakdowns, I respectfully disagree. I’ve never been a Judith fan so I’ve always been able to look at the scenes for what they really are. Though I love your words, you mentioned, “ Rick was always going to accept her and needed to accept the reality of what her DNA was” I’m paraphrasing. However, if Rick was always going to accept her then he wouldn’t NEED to do anything. A big part you’re missing is the sentence “ I had to accept that to keep her alive.” There was nothing instinctual about their “ connection” as Rick is admitting that her being kept alive was contingent upon accepting her Shaneness. Take RJ. Rick HAD to reject knowing his son to keep him alive. Did he want to? No. Based on ricks words, his motivation to keep Judith alive was contingent upon accepting her. And we do see this in the deleted scene where he ignores her. Rick had ample of times to tell Judith he loves her, yet those moments are spent with him hallucinating Shane talking about how she looks like him. Or him compromising her healthcare because he was ashamed to tell Siddiq that she is Shane’s child. Rick never asked about her as a person in TWOL. In every episode where Judith isn’t used as a prop for Rick, but is actually interacting with him, a hallucination of Shane or a reminder that she isn’t ricks child, lurks by. He only asked if she was alive and okay, and the second time he brought her up was for Michonne to almost bring up RJ. Michonne tells him she hasn’t heard from her and he barely flinches. And pictures drawn of her is nothing when he shows that his dreams is how he truly connected with those he loves and yet she was not included. People bring up Rick wanting her when Lori told him she was pregnant but you must remember, that was when he thought the baby was his. I agree with the other person because the entire “ Judith isn’t mine” convo does involve obligation because ricks literal next words are, “ you have to accept this or it won’t work.” Let’s hold that sentence to “ I had to accept that to keep her alive.” Based on his words one action wholly and only lead to the other. And let be honest. If Rick had to pretend that she was his in order to love her it would look just like it looks now with him knowing that she isn’t his, so if that’s the case, why did he NEED to accept her being Shane’s? I’m not hating on Rick, I just think it’s wild that no offense but Judith is literal the physical manifestation of Lori and Shane’s betrayal and if Rick hated the fact that they betrayed him, why would he be wrong to not want this child or have resentment toward a child who will always look like the worst thing that’s happened to him?

My response ended up being long too. But I’m glad that respectful dialogue and disagreements can be had here. This show has always been good at sparking discussions. For me, it wasn’t that I felt Rick was always inherently going to accept Judith. When I said “he knew he was going to love this child as his own” I should clarify that better. What I meant is Rick knew early on he was going to raise her, regardless of her origins or his resentment toward Shane and Lori.

The reason I think that is because when Rick first finds out Lori is pregnant he immediately addresses it with her, and Lori confirms that she and Shane were sleeping together in that same conversation. So Rick at the very least knows the baby may be Shane’s during that time, but he still goes on to take the stance that the baby will be raised by him regardless. And so even before Judith was born Rick seemed to have accepted the responsibility of keeping Judith alive knowing she potentially might not be his, which I get is different than accepting and embracing her as his daughter - something I think it’s fair to say he wrestled with at the onset. Especially once he knew for certain Judith wasn’t his. But at some point, Rick did choose to accept and love Judith as his and I don’t think Rick is the type of character to do that halfheartedly or with underlying resentment forever attached to this child.

When I wrote, “Due to the circumstances, Rick did have to accept/choose Judith as his child in a different way than he had to accept Carl when he was born or even RJ when he learned of him” I meant that it wasn’t just an automatic given for him to accept/embrace Judith as his own. He was going to have to make the choice to do so in a way that he didn’t have to choose to do so with Carl or RJ. And it’s understandable if accepting her was a weighty choice knowing that she’s the result of his loved ones' betrayal.

I understand that point about how his wording of “I had to accept that. I did. So I could keep her alive.” shows keeping her alive was rooted in first accepting her as Shane and Lori’s child. Where I differ is in thinking that Rick having to accept that in the beginning then impacted his ability to love and embrace Judith going forward.

Once Rick accepted her - which again, I’m not saying was just some automatic thing for him to do, because that’s no easy thing to embrace a child from essentially your wife and best friend’s affair - she was his daughter.

And to me, the reason thoughts of Shane are often tied closely to Rick’s thoughts of Judith is because of that acceptance aspect. Rick doesn’t look at Judith and forget or overlook her origins. But he loves and claims her even with the knowledge of her being Shane’s at the forefront of his mind.

To reiterate, imo, the reason Rick might’ve felt he needed to accept Judith being Shane’s is so that he could know he’s capable of fighting for her survival and loving her without needing to be in denial about being her biological father. And Rick wouldn’t have been wrong to have not wanted to take on the role of Judith’s parent - but since he did take on that role, I think it would be wrong for him to then perpetually resent her.

With the examples given about why Rick might have a detachment from Judith, I think it just comes down to a difference in perspective. Because for me, I see that deleted scene with Siddiq and I don't think Rick's deflection there is because he'd rather hide the shame than prioritize Judith's health. I see that scene and think yes it stirs up the shame of Lori and Shane's disloyalty but perhaps Rick also didn’t tell Siddiq at that moment because Judith was present and it wasn’t an urgent thing to discuss right there in front of her.

In the first 4 episodes of TOWL, Rick was so trapped not just in the CRM but inside himself that it took him a while to ask a lot of questions about their family. So the fact that even in that overwhelmed and fearful state he still checked on Judith to at least know she was alive and okay says something to me.

And Rick’s reaction to many things in episode 4 was mostly internal. So in the midst of debating something as big as whether or not he and Michonne are going to go home together, I can see him just feeling like it’s too much to also process that Judith might not be okay after all.

I also think the phone pictures aren't so easily dismissible as insight into how Rick feels about Judith. Dreams were the biggest thing that kept Rick going, true. And losing Carl's face but still being able to specifically see Michonne in his dreams was vital. At the same time, those phone images mattered a lot to him, which is part of why Michonne gifting the phone image of Carl is so impactful. She gave him Carl back through one of the methods he used to hold onto his family members over the years.

Rick wasn't obligated to get phone images of Judith but he did. He went and took the time to describe her to the artist and I interpret that as him wanting to preserve his daughter's memory as best he could.

But with Judith being so young when Rick was captured, I can see Rick knowing that whatever image he has of Judith in his mind is not who she is now years later which could partly be why her image came up less for him - because he doesn’t even know what her image is now.

Even on the phones, it looks like Rick tried to have Judith drawn older in some of them because he was aware she’d changed in ways he wasn't able to see. It might be painful for him to still be imagining a four-year-old when he knows she’s so much older now and has likely had his own image fade from her mind.

There are people who would absolutely take the approach mentioned of deep down always seeing the child as a product of one of the worst things that happened to them and letting it affect their view of the kid - I just don't think that's the case for Rick's character. I guess I'm basically just saying that it wasn't a perfectly smooth road toward acceptance of Judith, but once he did - he did it wholeheartedly. And again, I get that this can feel like I’m leaning toward a more kumbaya approach, but I also think these explanations can be just as valid. It all just depends on the different ways we’re all free to view it.

[noddytheornithopod]

The Fireside Girl Whose Flames Grew so Large She Burned Herself, and the One She Loves

So I just realised something about Act Your Age and a certain aspect of it that always bugged me and was a major factor in my frustration with the episode.

"Boo!!!!!! Shut up!!!!!!! You've talked about this episode to death already!!!!!!"

I don't disagree. I'm pretty tired of it, myself. To the point where I see "AYA sucks" takes these days I just roll my eyes and move on, even if I agree. But what I am posting about is a new insight that just occurred to me. As much as I hate to admit it, Act Your Age might be a train wreck, but it's a train wreck I can't take my eyes off of. It's a disaster, but it continues to fascinate me with the implications it has, even if they drive me up the wall.

So basically, one of the big things that bothered me is that Isabella and Phineas' relationship regressed, but in the main series, they seemed to be getting closer as the seasons progressed. Pretty weird to have the main show suggest one thing, only for Act Your Age to go "actually Isabella gave up once high school came around and basically kept her distance from Phineas as much as she could" and Phineas being depressed and thinking he's not good enough for Isabella (which I'd argue was made worse by Isabella's actions I just referred to, but that's a story for another time).

I could go on about how this was a barely thought out way to throw in some cheap angst that is immediately swept under the rug despite opening huge cans of worms, but that's not what I'm here for. I'm here because I think I might finally understand how this seeming contradiction now works.

Isabella grew distant from Phineas in high school BECAUSE they got closer.

This is all pure conjecture. The show could prove me wrong some day, and other people might have completely different ideas, but this is what I'm thinking.

As I mentioned, with the show, Phineas and Isabella seem to be getting closer overtime. Isabella might be running into bigger challenges to confess her love (still not over how it took a literal zombie apocalypse to stop her when she decided to just straight up confess), but Phineas also grows more comfortable around Isabella, something she obviously loves, I mean he even seems to care about her in a unique way (again, Pharmacists, the moment he realised she wasn't with him, he grew OBSESSED with finding her, risking his and everyone else's safety just because he feels that guilty and worried about their separation).

I don't know what the revival will do with Phineas and Isabella, but I expect more of the same. Mostly the occasional gag, maybe a sweet moment here and there, Isabella maybe tries something here or there even if it can't be a full confession. But for the purposes of this theory, I'm assuming that would happen, and they would continue to really like each other.

So yes, they're closer friends than ever. The spark has lit a fire. There's a line I like in Star Wars Jedi: Survivor where the character Merrin talks about how fire will warm you and keep you company, but left unchecked it will burn everything, leaving only ash. I'm paraphrasing, but in the context of the game, it's referring to protagonist Cal Kestis' struggle of growing more obsessed and passionate over fighting the Empire. This obsession indeed grows and consumes him to a point where he ends up in a very dark place by the end of the game.

So basically, what I'm saying is, Phineas and Isabella might grow closer, but that closeness will bring out their feelings more. Phineas ultimately realises how he feels by high school, of course. That is one part of the fire that has grown. But Isabella? She's probably getting more and more mixed messaging. Despite Phineas' growing love and affection towards her, she still can't just spell out how she really feels, which is what Phineas needs to understand. She might have her courage growing, but we've seen the Mysterious Force in Phineas and Ferb - Phineas remaining oblivious to Isabella's true feelings for him is part of the show's status quo. She's literally doomed to fail. Also, if she's even closer, she's going to feel even more afraid to ruin what they have. As brave as she is, this one anxiety is her Achilles' heel, and she's even more afraid of failing. It's too much pressure.

The Fireside Girl is burning.

She can't handle all of this. So what does she do? Give up. Phineas is her best friend? Doesn't matter, it hurts too much to even be around him. Is it contradictory that she's afraid of destroying what they have, but she does this out of hurt anyway? You bet, humans are messy like that. Always thinking she just might be there only to find he has something else distracting him, or anytime she makes progress, cosmic forces set her back. This fire is raging, affecting not just her, but Phineas, too. Her choice to grow distant makes him miss her. Worst part, he doesn't even understand why it's like this.

In the end, there is only ash. The relationship they had burned to a sliver of what it used to be. The saddest part is, I can't help but think Phineas would try to amend what was wrong, but that clearly fails too, leading to how he probably just thinks Isabella is above him and he doesn't deserve her love (oh hey, that part actually became relevant after all). He too enters a despair over their relationship, just accepting that she's not around anymore despite having stronger feelings than ever for her. He even seems to have a harder time inventing. The last of the fire goes out.

Lucky for them, a phoenix rises from those ashes. In Act Your Age, they finally talk (albeit briefly and in a very rushed scene that sweeps so much under the rug), and they can truly be open with each other again. A new fire is born, one that they can hopefully keep under control.

So what can we gleam from this? I feel like Phineas and Isabella actually could've had a real chance to get together earlier, but as things grew stronger between them, that made things more delicate, too. Not only did the circumstances of their ruthless status quo, but their own flaws ruined thins. Phineas' struggle to understand complex, hard to define emotions like love and his singular focus on what to do, not realising his love language is incomprehensible to Isabella... maybe his own love being incomprehensible to himself (see "I know cute when I see it on my cute tracker" lol). But more importantly, Isabella growing closer but still misreading what Phineas does, her own personal expectations AND fears being heightened by their closer bond, and expecting him to just get what she does. If they DID become closer, more time where he doesn't focus on her probably hurts even more.

In the end, Act Your Age had ideas, but they were afraid to commit to them. They somehow did both too much and too little. I actually think if they had a stronger vision, this episode could've been great, but it would also risk being too serious for Phineas and Ferb, and then people would be mad for DIFFERENT reasons. They didn't think it through, but well, some of us fans are just obsessive enough to pick up the pieces and try and make sense of it all. Because of our own burning fires of passion for this show, and for some of us, this relationship.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

There's been something going on in my head lately. This topic is about Shinichiro and I feel disappointed. Because Shinichiro is a man who I see as the ideal older brother and parent, who is really good-hearted and loves his siblings more than anything. This is definitely Shinichiro. He is a really good-hearted man who can be easily trusted. But today, some of the things written in Izana's letter confused me a lot. We had discussions about this issue on Twitter and many things came to my mind. Our topic is this friends;

Shinichiro knew that Izana was brother to Emma, so he went to the Philippines to pick up his brother. He picked up his younger brother and went back to Japan. He gave Izana an incredibly beautiful day on the first day, and in fact, in Izana's words, gave him the best day of his life. He gave her the opportunity to live her beautiful day. Afterwards, she continued to take care of him and spend the day with him. What bothers me is that Shinichiro knew that Emma and Izana were sisters. Why didn't he come and tell Emma this in the first place? Was it such a difficult thing to say that you found your brother? For God's sake, he wasn't just Emma's brother, but theirs too. As soon as he found Izana, why didn't he bring her home and introduce her to Grandpa? Why didn't he take Mikey and Emma to their orphanage visits? Why did he promise Izana an empty family?

so apparently, from the letter we saw in the trailer, we find out that shinichiro actually /knew/ that emma and izana were related and still kept them separate when he could have adopted him...shinichiro, that's so sick and twisted shit is there an adult who didn't do izana wrong?The adoption process is surely hard but at this point he could have simply brought emma to visit him and introduce izana to mikey when he got to see him at the orphanage. Mikey was positive about the idea (as we see in the manga) so why didn't Shinichiro do anything about it?When he talks to mikey asking him his opinion on having another brother , he was already an adult, so why didn't he do anything? It's like he kinda forgot about izana because they're not "related", but at that point, why did he get izana's life in the first place? Because he was Emma's brother? And like this we get to the initial point again: he could have, at least, introduced them all

Well firstly I'm pretty sure Shinichiro didn't pick Izana up from the Philippines at all. Since Izana was in a foster home adoption type place and then juvie in Japan (that's how he met Kakucho at the foster home and then the S62 at juvie). I'm also not sure how a Japanese teenager would've been just allowed to take a kid from the Philippines to Japan like that. Actually Izana doesn't even seem to have known he had family in the Philippines until Karen told him. He thought she was his mum and that he had the same dad as Shinichiro (not clear if he knew the guys name or what he looked like though).

I agree though, from our perspective it does seem like Shinichiro made a big mistake here with not introducing Izana to the others or at least telling them. However Shinichiro didn't have our perspective. Shinichiro had no idea what was going to happen or what the consequences of doing that would be. I feel like this is one of those things which will divide the fandom, with some ageeeing and some disagreeing (both are totally fine though).

Like I think Shinichiro was right not to rush into things here, taking on the care of another child is a big responsibility and Shinichiro was already practically raising two, not to mention what kind of impact a change in environment could have on Izana's mental health, a kid he had known for a few hours at this point. I don't know a lot about the irl adoption process but I'm pretty sure you have to spend more then a few hours with the kid before deciding anything. I think that's why they then started exchanging letters, as a way for them to get to know each other better and get more comfortable with each other.

I'm guessing the next part of Shinichiro's plan was to get to know Izana better and get Izana more comfortable with him before introducing him to the others. We know Shinichiro was at least thinking about introducing Izana to them because of the question he asked Mikey.

But then I'm guessing what stopped him was all the complications. Aka Mikey ripped Sanzu's face open and Izana beat up a bunch of kids and then basically forced one to take his own life. Put them together and they don't get along and you're going to have a big problem on your hands. Like I understand why Shinichiro wanted to move slowly here, this isn't something that should've been rushed. Not to mention the warning signs Izana was already showing towards Mikey by asking Shinichiro to stop talking about him and saying hearing about Mikey gives him a headache.

I'd say the main mystery here is why he didn't tell Emma/ bring Emma with him to visit. I'm not sure if he didn't wanna get her hopes up or if he wss worried about her or Izana's reaction (though they both seem like they would've been positive), or if he didn't want to make Emma keep the secret from Mikey but didn't want to let Mikey know yet. That is a bit of mystery.

Also to be completely fair to Shinichiro I don't think he ever would've expected things to play out the way they did. He was only a teenager himself when he first met Izana and even as a young adult it's a big responsibility to bring Izana into the house and make sure all his siblings were doing ok. He clearly wanted to unite them all but wanted it done in the correct way. Shinichiro has only been shown to want the best for his siblings so I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing here. Though obviously this is just my take and we're all going to have different opinions on this.

[itsgirlcraft]

Hm. I..think I just unveiled a bit of my dark backstory. Neat

Long story short, last week my mom said something like "it's not fair to everyone else if you're just hanging out" in relation to college and chores and getting a job.

Anddddd...this isn't the first time. The last time was back in September 2023 where she went into an emotional rant about it. I checked my notes app abt that first time and damn. It did Not Go Well.

Putting a cut here bc it gets more vent-y and personal.

I had really horrible intrusive thoughts that first time. I was terrified of her "catching" me resting, even just eating. So I pretended to work on college after finishing my actual work, long after the sun set. I kept having thoughts of, "she's right I'm just a burden, rest is a reward I can't ever enjoy anything again I shouldn't sleep or eat anymore," etc. I felt like I was purposefully being dramatic, so I could get pity points, even though guilt was eating me alive.

However, this second time was different. I don't think it was all that emotional for either of us. Tbh I think I've actually gotten better in a lot of ways!

I tried to explain myself when she said so initially, trying to show my side of things. After, I just..went to work on my college assignment with nothing more than mild disdain for her. It was more a sign to rebel rather than give in, and I feel more confident in myself now! I even feel that what I've done is good enough, that I deserve rest and celebration!

And now, in the days later, I've dissected the whole thing logically, comparing our povs and what I agree/disagree with. I've explored the opportunities for why I'm wrong and why she's wrong, and that all of this is still my interpretation of her argument. None of what *I* assumed here may be right, because this may not be an attack whatsoever on her part.

Because I DO agree that chores should take up part of my day if I do stick with 1-2 classes that are ACTUALLY easy for me. I literally WANT to do that. I just don't like that she's implying 1, she's trying to pick my battles for me, and 2, that having fun is hurting others. Because from what I understand, she thinks any less than 3+ classes is too little, and I'm just "chilling" all day.

But last semester's 2 classes, combined with my laptop breaking, nearly broke me. I had to fight to get to this point, where I've gone beyond the shores of my comfort zone and straight into the depths. I got on a public bus and went to my college campus on my own, for the first time for both. I figured out how to get my student id, got on the wrong bus, and was fine with it! I was calm and trusted that, eventually, I'd get home!! That's INSANE, okay? I GOT ON THE WRONG BUS AND GOT OFF SOMEWHERE UNKNOWN, AND I DIDNT PANIC, I TRUSTED MYSELF AND THE WORLD TO BRING ME HOME!!!!! AND BY GOD, IM FUCKING PROUD OF THAT!!!

And yeah. Even tho my mom says she's impressed with that, her little talk last week felt hypocritical. Hopefully I'll get around to telling her all this soon, because it seems she's had this thought in her head for awhile...And for once, I don't want to avoid confrontation.

[morsesnotes]

A little ramble about Joan and Morse...

[There will be spoilers if you haven't finished Endeavor]

A common take I've seen in this fandom is that Joan was waiting around for him. That Morse had all these chances he didn't take to express his feelings. So her shutting him down in S5/S6 was totally his own fault. I disagree with this and don't really understand it.

Here's why:

They only start getting to know each other properly in S2, and Morse has a girlfriend at that point.

Morse becomes aware of his feelings for Joan at the end of Coda, and he went to the Thursdays' house immediately after. It seemed like he intended to talk about it with Joan, but she was clearly traumatized, and not in a place to deal with romantic declarations. She'd already decided she was leaving. What if he said how much he cared and then she was gone? When you think about the abandonment issues this guy has, and the fact she is literally leaving him in that moment, can you blame him for being afraid?

Nevertheless, he's openly welling up in front of her (a very odd thing for a man in the mid-60s to do) and telling her if she needs anything to let him know. There's no way a woman wouldn't pick up on this. Not to mention constantly putting her life before his at the bank.

When Joan contacts him in the vaguest form possible, it's enough for him to do exactly what he said he would. He goes out of his way to find her and indicates there's something between them that can happen. He tells her he cares what happens to her and whether or not she's in his life. Joan makes him leave.

Morse proposes to her. She says no and specifically cites her dad as a reason it would be a bad idea. When the phone rings, Morse is willing to let it go. She's the one who picks it up, brings it to him, and leaves before he can do anything about it.

Even though he doesn't stay at the hospital, the Doctor presumably would've told her he stopped by.

When she moves back to Oxford, he gives her some space, which is entirely correct given what she's been through. He takes up her invitation to her party and makes sure he is there. He's clearly eager at the chance to spend time with her. But then she tells him she wants to set him up with someone else.

Eventually Morse can't take any more rejection, especially with Claudine having left him. He's gotten the message Joan was sending him and lets it go. This is when Joan decides to ask for a coffee. It's the first time she actually initiates something and given the context I think it's perfectly understandable for Morse to turn the offer down? It's fair enough if he doesn't want to get hurt again, isn't it? Idk, Joan's timing here rubbed me the wrong way. It was the mature thing for him to do and showed he saw her as more than a rebound.

Finally, a few weeks later Morse realizes in Icarus that life is too short and takes her up on it, but now she says she's sick of waiting around.

The fan reaction I saw with that moment was, "Yeah you tell him Joan! Fuck him!" And it made me go "???". It's true it wasn't the best timing on his part, but it's not as if he had a habit of turning up when it suited him. She was the one stringing him along, wanting his attention one minute and then rejecting it the next. She could've said she was busy and they could do it some other time in the week. Her reaction was way too harsh.

Don't get me wrong, I love Joan and am by no means the type to view Morse as a poor little Meow Meow who can do no wrong. However, I feel like it's super unfair to put it all on him when Joan was going through her own problems and has her own difficulties expressing herself. He gave her countless opportunities to open up, and she pushed him away. At a certain point, it'd be weird if he ignored her wishes and kept attempting to pursue her. It wouldn't be a good look if he tried stopping her from marrying his friend either. As far as he knows, she's moved on.

Morse may have had trouble saying it out loud, but his actions spoke volumes. Surely that counts for something? He also wrote her that incredibly romantic letter in Zenana and straight up said "Please believe me to have been yours, always". Keep in mind again this is a British man in the 60s-70s and the men around Joan so far have been deeply repressed. Seems pretty forward to me! I simply don't believe this wouldn't spark curiosity in Joan to figure out what he meant. That she'd just wait around until Morse came to visit her to ask about it, and that seeing him in the state he's in, she'd leave it there. This woman who wants passion, who's independent, who cares about the people in her life, who knows how it feels to be saving face while suffering inside, and her literal job involves helping children come to terms with their trauma. Her total passive behavior towards Morse doesn't make sense! Like it doesn't even have to be romantic! They can interact as friends!

He carries a ton of trauma and emotional baggage which makes him terrified of losing what he has with her. Not to mention his respect for Thursday. I don't see why we can't have empathy for both of them.

And yeah, he was being a dick in S6 but again, he's allowed to be angry and in fact it's healthy for him to actually let it out rather than having this idealized view of Joan forever or holding it in like he usually does.

Btw, with his previous behavior taken into account, him not showing up in Uniform was highly unusual and should've been a "What's happened to him?" moment for Joan. Not, "Classic Morse. Works comes first."

Anyway, sorry for the essay and thank you if you read all of it. I just wanted to get all my thoughts together in one place.

[fantasymindpalace]

What the IC and Rhys did was awful. They shouldn’t have kept the secret from Feyre. But let’s not forget that Nesta originally agreed to keep the secret as well. And the only reason she told Feyre was because she wanted to hurt her. She literally weaponized Feyre’s potential death and miscarriage all because she was angry at Amren. Rhys and the IC sucks for keeping the pregnancy thing a secret, but so does Nesta.

And you’re right. Feyre’s her sister. So why didn’t she tell Feyre immediately after finding out about the secret? Why wait until she was angry and lashing out to tell feyre? Unlike the rest of the IC, she owes Rhys no loyalty. She could’ve said something a lot sooner, but instead she used the knowledge to hurt her little sister.

So, yeah, Feyre definitely had to right to know. Rhys and IC are absolute trash for keeping the secret. But Nesta, as Feyre’s sister, should’ve told Feyre right away once she realized that no one else would. She could’ve had a conversation with Feyre. Instead, she chose to tell Feyre that she and her unborn baby might die in the most apathetic way possible.

Honestly Feyre was done so wrong by everyone in the series, including Nesta. Like imagine finding out that everyone, including your own sister, knew that you and your unborn baby might die and you only found out because your sister was lashing out.

If we’re going to hold Rhys and IC accountable for keeping Feyre in the dark, why don’t we hold Nesta accountable as well when she also agreed to keep it a secret from her sister? Nesta isn’t a hero in this situation. In fact, there are no heroes - only a victim, which is Feyre.

this is my personal opinion, obvi the books are open to your personal interpretation. i think nesta may not have told feyre right away because it was probably very intimidating for her to openly disagree with the inner circle. i mean, they clearly don’t receive criticism from outsiders very well. yes, they do keep each other in check, but if a non member of the ic disagrees with or critiques them, well i think their actions speak for themselves. i also think the ic meddles WAY too much into the archerons family affairs. the sisters relationships with each other are not the inner circles business. nesta’s delivery of the information was less than ideal, but i don’t necessarily disagree with it either. yes, she did mean to cause harm with those words. however, to me, the severity of the situation warrants a strong reaction. and the importance of the information outweighs the delivery. shit comes out in heated moments, that’s just real life. i mean, the ic literally went behind their own high lady’s back and kept secrets about her very life and pregnancy, and nesta was just supposed to go along with it?? at the end of the day, feyre needed to know. and nesta was the only one brave enough to speak the truth to her. that took a lot of guts. and even after, they gaslit her into believing that saying something hurtful in an argument is worse than literally withholding medical information from the high lady of their court. they deflected the blame and put it all on nesta. but after all, there are just my meaningless opinions on the matter. you bring up valid points and i do agree at the end of the day feyre got done soooo dirty. however, nesta was courageous enough to do something that nobody else in the ic was willing to do, and i respect it

[justeliiijah]

Regarding ur point saying Rose should have taken out her genocidal war family. Rose certainly had complicated and largely negative feelings towards the diamonds but she refused to kill. It was completely against her own philosophy to take the life of another. It's why she bubbled Bismuth and it's why her sword can't shatter gems and why the war went on as long as it did. Like Steven, Rose saw the good in everybody, and she didn't want to kill her family or any of their pawns to guarantee the Earth's survival. This probably isn't a good philosophy in Real Life Warfare but pacifism and forgiveness are key tenets of SU and having the CGs on Team Murder would undermine that. And besides, Rose valued the life on Earth so much she defected for it, so I'm sure she still felt for gemkind too, even if they are a much less charming or organic form of life.

And like I said prior, the Diamonds were defeated and in a major way. They couldn't keep up with the resistance and they were losing stability in their own caste system because soldiers kept defecting. They were wasting significant amounts of resources and weapons and manpower trying to take over one measly planet, which is why they forfeited by indiscriminately corrupting both the CGs and their own soldiers and decided it would be better to just destroy the planet with the Cluster in a few thousand years, that plan Rose probably didn't know anything about. To Rose I think it is fair to say that after 5000 years of no sign of diamond return she thought the world she would leave Steven in would be safe. The Diamonds didn't even realize the Crystal Gems were still alive because they assumed they had been corrupted by the song too. If they knew they survived the Diamonds would have wiped them out on the spot. Likewise, charging into Homeworld 5000 years to try and take on 3 diamonds with an army of 4 would be suicide. There'd be no Rose to even have Steven because she'd just be resparking a long dead conflict fruitlessly.

I don't disagree that Rose's shortcomings were severe. She traumatized and abandoned Spinel, unknowingly or not, hurt Volleyball, lied to the gems, and imprisoned Bismuth for resisting her. I am sure there are more examples I am missing. Pearl (and to a lesser extent the other CGs) was absolutely destroyed after her passing because she revered Rose so much she could not see her flaws and hinged her own self worth on her loyalty to Rose, which I'm going to be honest I don't think was Rose's responsibility to deal with emotionally. But it probably doesn't speak well to Rose's ability to interact with other people lol. I understand WHY she left so many of her problems unresolved but I won't say she was right to do so.

That being said. While Rose should have tied up her loose ends, even if she was deathly afraid (and expectant) of rejection, I still don't think she was in the wrong for having Steven. Maybe it was kind of selfish to have him given her troubled past. But bringing life into the world will always bring suffering upon the child and that's just kind of how life is. Everyone faces hardships and almost everyone faces hardships as a direct or indirect consequence of their parents, even the good ones. Rose truly thought that Steven would not be shackled by her issues, or at least would not face so many at such a young age, and that the Crystal Gems could move on and grow by themselves, and she basically killed herself to try and ensure it. To Rose, having Steven was honestly a safe venture, and one that would bring somebody better and more human and more capable of being a "real person" up into the world.

This is a lot of fuckin words I'm so sorry I just don't have anybody else to talk to about this and I have a lot of opinions on Rose Quartz

TLDR; Rose was right to have Steven given her own knowledge of the Homeworld situation and while she was a coward in dealing with her own personal problems I don't think she could have predicted the trajectory of Steven's life, given he would have never learned about most of it as a kid without Homeworld's invasion in the first place

why wouldn't you just text me your opinions instead of this. coda. coda we are dating. this is one of the LONGEST POSTS ON MY BLOG CODA

[mercysought]

"i'll confess, i've never had a desire to visit minrathous," he says to orla, leaning back in his chair. where varric has gone to he doesn't know, but they can hardly just sit here in suspicious silence. "does it have much to recommend it, that an elf can attend to?"

unprompted, my beloved // always accepting // @lostinquisitor

Then leave.

Is what she wants to say. But doesn't. It wasn't surprising that Minrathous had the fame that it did, some places were certainly a shit hole and there was plenty of things wrong with it, but it was also the place that had offered her most protection. It was, ultimately, her home. Thorns, fucked, an absolute shithole that the deeper parts where the sun didn't even reach with the exception for the reflection of some mirrors and open windows throughout the day: these places held pieces of her heart and soul.

He doesn't know. He is not saying these things to personally offend you. He is trying to reach out to you. Is he?

The Magekiller glances in Ameridan's direction, pulling the pipe she had been softly nursing while waiting for Varric to return from his business.

   "Minrathous' a big place." she finally says, curbing the annoyance in her voice into a thin line of monotone. Brown eyes look at him but the gaze is distant. She keeps the bite behind a strong, thin line of her lips, allowing only a small opening for her to take her pipe away and expel the smoke away from him.

She had once heard that Minrathous was a jewel of History and Culture, and perhaps that was true but she didn't have much of a chance to see it. Or interest, frankly. The city is crowded and they could hear every single one of the conversations of the people that walked back and forth. It was like a constant rapid heartbeat, Minrathous was a city fighting a fever. A city that disagreed who were the virus that needed to be squashed.

   "If you keep your head down, you can get into most places you probably want to. Unless it's specific to the interests of the dickheads above." her finger points towards the hovering building, a massive construct that loomed over the city, covering part of it in shadow.

She could tell him of strategies to keeping his ears hidden but not in a way that would bring the attention towards him, but it hardly mattered when you were dalish. That was why she kept so close to him, lest anyone get any ideas that a dalish had made their way into the city without guidance. This was hardly unique to dalish, but the truth was that anyone that looked lost or looking for something but unsure where they needed to get it were likely to be picked up by the bird's of prey circling around.

Either the bird's or prey or carrion. Neither choice was good "You will get looks. You will get comments. Not so much because you're an elf, the issue is the—"

With her pipe, she gesticulates circularly around her own face. The face tattoos. That was the issue, not he face that he was an elf. Without tattoos his best bet was that he might be confused by a servant or slave and while those were not invisible, depending on where he wanted to go, it was perhaps enough to slip without too many questions. If one didn't want to linger.

It was her city. It held part of her soul. But she would not deny that there was a lot of rot. Rot that they needed to burn away.

   "I'm not the best person to give you good places to visit." or to paint the city in a good light. She could tell him good places to hide bodies, the strategies that the local thugs had, their connections to the venatori and how their processes were flawed and could allow her to operate. But that would not be useful to him. She places the pipe again in her mouth "Neve is the gal you are looking for."